Taking the Challenge

I’ve written before that trying for another child after you’ve lost a child (or children, for that matter) is like jumping off a cliff. You don’t know if your parachute will work so that you’ll glide safely to your destination or if your parachute is just a backpack and you will crash to the ground. It is a terrifying decision to make. Someone once told me that you’ll know you are ready when you want it more than you are afraid of it.

And here we are again. . . preparing to jump. I am most definitely terrified, but I am also confident that my desire for a child I get to raise is far greater than my fear of what could happen. I’m trying to take the process in pieces, because the thought of playing out all of the what-if’s is more than my brain can handle. And so I focus on the first few steps and getting through the next month. 

I recently read an article about how the process of trying to conceive is a constant waiting game for a person with infertility. Obviously, this thought resonated with me. But the author had a few tricks on how to survive some of this waiting time, and I figured I would try one out.

A 30 day challenge. The author of the article came up with different 30 day challenges to help pass the waiting times. And so I’ve decided to take one on myself to help me through the next 30 days. Starting today, I will commit to one random act of kindness every day for the next 30 days. I’ll document each one in a journal, and I’ll collect them to share here on the blog. My hope is that it will help the 30 days pass by much faster, and at the end, I’ll be further along in my journey while also spreading a little good.

So who is with me? Who wants to join me on my 30 day challenge and passing a little kindness onto others every day? It always helps to know you have a group rallying behind you, which we’ve been very fortunate to have through every step of our journey. I’d love to have others with me on this 30 day journey too – you can send me some of the acts of kindness you’ve done that I’ll post here with mine. We can all encourage one another to be more patient and giving with others, while you help me get through the next 30 days.

I think it’s fair to say that I’ve been pretty open through my loss and infertility journey by sharing so much on this blog (maybe too open for some). This next jump, though, I plan to keep private. For this part of my life right now, it needs to be something that I focus on with my husband. There is more that goes into a round of IVF than I can possibly explain, and we’re going to get through those with each other. I’m keeping a written journal through the process, so maybe I’ll share it someday. But for now, it is a journey we take privately. We’ll take all of your good thoughts, prayers, baby dust, whatever you want to send our way, though!

And so, as it has a few times over the course of the last year, the blog changes directions a little. For the next 30 days, it’s all about Random Acts of Kindness. I hope that you’ll join and help me count down the next 30 days.